Rahul Dravid once said in an interview that if he tried to play like Sachin Tendulkar then he would be making a fool of himself. If only dogs paid attention to news rather than waiting for the cooking shows and Scooby Doo then they could perhaps tell their friends on the street that they can’t just copy cows when it comes to crossing the traffic laden roads of our country. Then perhaps street dogs could spend their time on more fruitful activities than running after vehicles with their three good legs. I mean activities like smelling each other’s ass and searching the garbage for food. Sometimes when I see dogs barking at cars and running after them I wish I knew their tongue and could tell them -This is not the same car stupid so stop wasting your time and get a good dog detective. Anyways it’s not dogs that I wanted to talk about. I have better things to do than that! My article is about cows.
A normal human being usually waits for the red light or looks for subways or takes appropriate care while crossing the roads in India. By mentioning normal I am excluding those guys who cross roads pretending they are the vehicles and it is the duty of the traffic to dodge them. I call these guys CarMen as they behave like they are mini cars in themselves. These guys usually don’t live long in Delhi. Meanwhile crossing the road in Delhi or anywhere in India is a piece of cake for a cow due to which I endow her title of ‘Queen of the Road.’
It is something in the serene eyes of a cow that can calm even the most rash drivers; even the ones who drive as if they are going to the hospital to get medicines for their sick mother who is about to die. It’s like as soon as your eyes meets hers you suddenly change from Amitabh in Zanjeer to Amitabh in Baghbaan. It’s this look and their size which helps them to cross roads with such care free attitude.
Have you ever noticed how a cow crosses the road; engrossed in chewing her food and caring a damn about the traffic. I can never do that. Even if there is some food in my mouth it loses its taste as soon as I hear those loud horns. I usually wait for a group of people to accompany me. You see united we cross divided we die. When I am alone and there is no hope then I wait for a CarMen and stick by his side. It’s a tricky business though as cars keep flashing by your side and your heart is in your mouth. It is then that you repent that feeling of joy that you get every time you are sitting in a speeding vehicle.
So my advice is that be very careful while you move from one end of the road to the other as it is always better late than never. Besides the drivers treat you like dogs and not cows. Once my sister was casually crossing the road and I pulled her back as a car went past us. I stared at her and said “Who do you think you are? Cowwoman!”