Why Did I Get Married?

People are different. But there are certain things that everyone across the world does. Mostly these are things are necessary for you to live, like eating, going to the shit house and taking care of your health by brushing, taking a bath etc. And then there are things that society makes you believe are necessary for you to do and the top among that list is marriage. And in a way marriage is somehow related to all the necessary daily functions that I just mentioned. Let’s see how.

I need to go…

When people enter their late twenties (and some fools even before that) they start having this uncontrollable urge to get married. Their behaviour towards getting married is similar to a person who has been unable to go to the loo for a long time and now must find a release or else he would wet his pants. It’s like “I can’t hold it any longer. Where is the person who is supposed to be my soul-mate?” Well finding a soul-mate is actually as difficult as finding a public toilet in the streets of India. So people do what men in India do. Find the nearest tree or wall and make it wet and what results is being stuck with another person who had to pee urgently just like yourself. So marriage is usually a bond between two people who had this uncontrollable urge to pee! But what happens after you get the release? You realize that, unlike India, the police catch you in the act of peeing on the street and now you have to spend your life in a jail. Yes my friends, that’s how serious a sin you have committed and a life sentence is what you will get. But before you realize that there is another stage.

My health is fine

People often think that they are taking good care of their health even though they eat whatever they can lay their hands on, drink like crazy, sit in one place all day and sometimes even forget brushing their teeth. What they think is – “I climbed a couple of stairs today. That must do be so good for my health.” Well a similar situation happens immediately after taking the vows – the denial stage. I have to wake up in the morning to make tea for my partner but “I am happily married”. I can’t drink beer when I want to but “I am happily married”. The bathroom is always so dirty but “I am happily married”. I have to make a compromise on every single thing in life for a person who my subconscious doubts is worth even giving water to when he/she is dying of thirst in the desert; but “I am happily married”.

It eats your happiness

Then your life becomes so busy that you don’t have time for yourself. You now have two kids you need to take care of and there is always more pressure to earn more money. One day you wonder when was the last time you read a novel, when was the last time you played a game and when was the last time you really enjoyed something without thinking about – is there enough milk for kids in the fridge?; are the clothes ironed for tomorrow?; how will I manage the house with my current income? And then you remember the old days and it strikes you like lightning – “Why did I get married?” Too late! You should have thought about the consequences when you were jumping like a chimpanzee to get married. It was perhaps better when you had worn a black cloth on your eyes and you never saw the reality. The black cloth was maybe a mark of respect for the death of your independence when you got married. But now you know and things are only going to get worse. You will start seeing how marriage has eaten and is still eating your happiness like a parasite. And what follows after that is so terrible that if I describe it, this article will be censored.

So let’s not get into that and instead let me tell you something that is one of the most amazing things ever. It is that even after becoming wise from the experience you will make the people whom you love the most, follow your path. And when your children grow up, you will pester them with the question – “When are you getting married?”